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Everybody shut up, woo!<br /> Everyone listen up!<br /> Hey, hey, hey, uh<br /> Hey, hey, heyIf you can't write in the proper way<br /> If you don't know how to conjugate<br /> Maybe you flunked that class<br /> And maybe now you find<br /> That people mock you onlineOkay, now here's the deal<br /> I'll try to educate ya<br /> Gonna familiarize<br /> You with the nomenclature<br /> You'll learn the definitions<br /> Of nouns and prepositions<br /> Literacy's your mission<br /> And that's why I think it's aGood time<br /> To learn some grammar<br /> Now, did I stammer<br /> Work on that grammar<br /> You should know when<br /> It's "less" or it's "fewer"<br /> Like people who were<br /> Never raised in a sewerI hate these word crimes<br /> Like I could care less<br /> That means you do care<br /> At least a little<br /> Don't be a moron<br /> You'd better slow down<br /> And use the right pronoun<br /> Show the world you're no clown<br /> Everybody wise up!Say you got an "I","T"<br /> Followed by apostrophe, "s"<br /> Now what does that mean?<br /> You would not use "it's" in this case<br /> As a possessive<br /> It's a contraction<br /> What's a contraction?<br /> Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words<br /> By the omission of a sound or letterOkay, now here's some notes<br /> Syntax you're always mangling<br /> No "x" in "espresso"<br /> Your participle's danglin'<br /> But I don't want your drama<br /> If you really wanna<br /> Leave out that Oxford comma<br /> Just keep in mindThat "be", "see", "are", "you"<br /> Are words, not letters<br /> Get it together<br /> Use your spellchecker<br /> You should never<br /> Write words using numbers<br /> Unless you're seven<br /> Or your name is PrinceI hate these word crimes<br /> You really need a<br /> Full time proofreader<br /> You dumb mouth-breather<br /> Well, you should hire<br /> Some cunning linguist<br /> To help you distinguish<br /> What is proper EnglishOne thing I ask of you<br /> Time to learn your homophones is past due<br /> Learn to diagram a sentence too<br /> Always say "to whom"<br /> Don't ever say "to who"<br /> And listen up when I tell you this<br /> I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis<br /> You finished second grade<br /> I hope you can tell<br /> If you're doing good or doing well<br /> About better figure out the difference<br /> Irony is not coincidence<br /> And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull<br /> What's figurative and what's literal<br /> Oh but, just now, you said<br /> You literally couldn't get out of bed<br /> That really makes me want to literally<br /> Smack a crowbar upside your stupid headI read your e-mail<br /> It's quite apparent<br /> Your grammar's errant<br /> You're incoherent<br /> Saw your blog post<br /> It's really fantastic<br /> That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)<br /> 'Cause you write like a spasticI hate these Word Crimes<br /> Your prose is dopey<br /> Think you should only<br /> Write in emoji<br /> Oh, you're a lost cause<br /> Go back to pre-school<br /> Get out of the gene pool<br /> Try your best to not droolNever mind I give up<br /> Really now I give up<br /> Hey, hey, hey<br /> Hey, hey, hey<br /> Go away!Lyrics provided by TANCODEhttps://damnlyrics.com/" readonly=""/>